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Combatting brain fog and my headphones addiction, part 2

10.07.23

It has not been going that well: I had some podcasts that I really wanted to listen to, as well as things I needed the laptop for, so I fell back to square one. But still trying again. Now I always take a small notebook with me: as an incentive to go outside without earbuds. Works incredibly well. I have written several articles for the blog during these few days - and none of them were written at home. Another piece of good news - my gaming seems to still be fully in my control, unlike how it used to be.

As for screen addiction - I'll now try not to cut off everything at once, but set rigid time frames to do everything I need the laptop for. Not in the morning (when I feel the best) and not right before sleep. Apparently it's a better practice for overcoming addictions.

***

Morning begins with a pretty strong headache. And a withdrawal I can feel physically. Partially it's the fault of oversleeping and waking up too late. I don't even know if I would hold on to my promise, but I don't want to break it right now: using the computer right now would only give me more headache and make me hate myself more. I will have time to do everything I want (insluding typing this article) between 15 and 16. I am once again realizing how many of my routines are based around bad habits. Want to eat some cookies? Reach to the laptop to watch some videos. Want to clean the room? Also reach for the laptop, since I am used to doing so with podcasts or music. I need to learn to be bored - or, rather, unstimulated - again. Come on, this was not even a problem a few years ago!

It's wonderful how quickly I started to feel bored... Only to immdeiately compensate this feeling by the desire to work. While head still hurts, I finally feel great. Writing an article, reading programming books, returning to that one fiction bookm I abandoned a while ago... I wish this lasted forever. Though if I keep my promide, it can! Time flows so much slower in these conditions (and slow passage of time is a sure sign of happiness for me). I just... Have to get used to it. And the remaining half of the summer (hell, even more than half, to be exact!) would feel twice as long as what I have lost.

Already completed the tasks I have set for today, aside from those requiring a computer. It feels incredible to be back on track. The very thought of opening the laptop is met with repulsion, like how one would react to pain.

Did everything I needed on the computer within two hours: there was a bit of overtime afterwards, but with changes like this "a little bit' is not really significant.

***

Yesterday ended with a bit more screentime than needed, but not to a painful degree. Last thing I did was playing a couple games of Upward.It felt much better than usual, as this was not a binge. And we won most of them, too.

Today was mostly botched, partially because my computer time had to be shifted earlier and a lot of the tasks required a screen. But I did compensate for this in the evening by completing all the tasks. I am disoriented but content. I am still on the right way.